We first meet eyes, I take a sip
Into a smile you bend my lip
I look at you and like the taste
I take another gulp with haste
We begin to talk, I swallow you in
You fill me with warmth from stomach to limb
Your smooth words make me dizzy with bliss
And grant me a false sense of confidence
My cup of your love is never empty
I continue to drink, I've had more than plenty
You give me a feeling that clouds my mind
Irrational decision will be made in good time
But who needs to be rational, lets just embrace
As I bring the cup back to my face
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Extremely interesting concept. You had a very creative manipulation of words, images, and actions, and this enhanced the concept on a variety of levels that toy with the mind.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I would suggest is to replace "false sense of confidence" with something more concise.
I liked this one a lot.
Melanie Hyche
This was very interesting. I liked the creative play with words. It made me feel like I was there and could feel these thoughts. The rhyming was not too rough. It was subtle. Some lines were a stretch but most played well together. Since the poem is titled "Drink. Drank. Drunk.", what if you made 3 stanza's instead of 4. More like stages. Just a thought. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very creative poem :)
ReplyDeleteI might rework the rhythm of the last two lines, because 'but who needs to be rational' is a little bit too much of a mouthful.
Other than that, though, it was an enjoyable read :)